Time for a weekly update. Things are good. The end.
If only things were that simple. Things are indeed going fairly well. But, as usual, it’s complicated.
Zack’s wound opened up again this week. We sent a photo to our ostomy nurses and they wanted us to bring Zack in to be evaluated. We made a new plan, much like the old plan and will go back in next week to see how things look. Our surgeon had warned us that this area was weak and that we might have trouble with it. I believed him, but not really. Guess I’ll listen more to the man. He obviously has a clue.
For the past week, Zack’s stoma has been prolapsing a little bit. A prolapsing stoma sends shivers of fear through my body. Seriously. Happily, so far, he is only prolapsing about 2 1/2″. My anxiety level has been elevated and I keep waiting for more…
Because we have traveled this road before, I wanted to be proactive in our approach. I did not want to wait for an emergency to happen and then have to make hard decisions under pressure. Jim and I decided it would be a good idea to talk to Zack’s GI doctor now before we are in that position and formulate a game plan.
We are smack in the middle of that process now. We have an appointment next week to go over some new information and to see what comes next. I feel some more testing in our future. Of utmost importance will be formulating a new plan for when Zack needs anesthesia next. We do not want a repeat of last week!
Today we heard from the teacher Zack will have for summer school. Happily, summer school is only an hour a day, three times a week in July. So, though technically during the summer, it will not take the entire summer break away from Zack. I am thankful Zack will be going as he is still struggling a bit in school.
Next week we also up his Ritalin dose to see if it will help Zack focus better in the afternoon. Since beginning Ritalin again he has lost some of his new found weight. Have I mentioned before how much I love Zack’s new g-tube? I love that we can give him more calories when he needs them. I love that he gets a more balanced diet this way than he would ever eat on his own. While I agree real food would be best, this is a kid who just does not eat and Ritalin does not help. It is nice to have one less thing to worry about.
Personally, this week was eye-opening for me. I realized that I have been living in fear for far too long. Fear and worry, about Zack and our other boys. Fear about what the next thing will be for Zack. Fear of more surgery. Fear of more prolapsing. Fear of more pain. Fear of more fear. It is pretty ridiculous. Even though my faith is strong, sometimes my emotions take over and overwhelm me. I do NOT like that. I have resolved to change this and am working hard to make that happen.
Surprisingly, my new favorite song is by Nickleback. I have never really been a big fan, but their song, “What Are You Waiting For?” is the current cool down song in my Body Pump class at the Y. I have been listening to it for quite a few weeks now and it has grown on me.
It goes along with my current favorite Bible verse: “Have I not commanded, be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged; for the LORD your God is with you where ever you go.” Joshua 1:9 Fear has no place in my life. It is just bringing me down, so time to kick it out! Or, maybe send in my favorite Jedi to wipe it out.
Hug your babies!